On September 19th 2021, just a few months short of his 102nd birthday, my family and I lost my grandfather, Armando Hilario Pretto, to covid. My heartbreak has been immense and yet even through the loss I can feel how powerful his legacy lives through me. He has played a profound part in my empowerment. commitment to living life on purpose, entrepreneurial nerve, passion for health and wellness, self love and beyond. I share this with you as an example of the pillar of Pussy Empowerment I teach: Alchemize Your Herstory.
In honor of his memory I share with you the words I spoke at his memorial:
I always knew this day was coming. I worried about it since the day I understood what death was. And even though I am so grateful I made it 32 years with my grandfather in my life, it is still more excruciating to experience this loss then I imagined especially knowing how he went and how it didn’t have to be this way. But the truth is that even through tragedy, the triumph of my grandfathers life cannot possibly be eclipsed. You see one does not accidentally arrive at nearly 102 years old. A fact he reminded us of often. Furthermore one does not make it to 102 without experiencing much loss- grandpas beloved mother and siblings, friends amongst them.
It’s the resilience and commitment to LIFE that he demonstrated that has given me strength In these last couple of extremely hard weeks. The fact that he made it to nearly 102 still laughing every single day, cracking jokes and putting smiles on our faces even after he started to not recognize our faces little by little.
As his eldest granddaughter I have to say I feel like the luckiest of everyone. He wasn’t as strict with me as he was with his own children. But as a grandfather, with us he took his role very seriously as a source of love, light, wisdom and inspiration. I am realizing the not everyone has had someone in their life who poured as much love into them as grandpa poured into us. Everyday and in every way. From installing a swing in his basement to crafting stilts from wood for us, to giving us endless long pep talks about life and how to live it with intention. Almost every day he would pick us up from school with a tupperware of apples my Lita sliced for us and blast music on our ride home, sometimes taking his hands off the wheel to clap which only scares us a little bit. I remember how proud I always felt to point him out to my teachers. THAT impeccably dressed, jokester with a twinkle in his eye- always ready to make anyone laugh, was MY grandfather.
He never missed an opportunity to tell us how much he loved us- from here to China and back he would say with a booming laugh every time he recounted the story of how one of us said, that’s not far enough- I love you from here to Pluto and back. He always let us know we were capable of anything, everything could be understood , that we were always welcome, loved, smart, beautiful or handsome.
I remember the day we lost my Nana, my fathers mother when I was about 13 years old. I cried on grandpas lap all day as he stroked my hair and told me she was an angel. Told me about heaven and believed it with every cell in his body.
Grandpa would never fool you, he would always say. Grandpa will always be with you, never forget that he would repeat. Enough so that through this pain, those words have continued to ring loud and clear. It’s as if through the memory of that day, he continues to comfort me now.
But honestly in the days since his passing I’ve had a really hard time connecting to my own faith. The night he passed even before I knew I felt it in my body. And as I looked for him in the days after I simply could not feel him. But when I asked where he was I felt a wave in my body. I realized that at the very least he is in every cell of my own body . That I am his living legacy. As so many of us in this room are. Alive and THRIVING because of him, his love and support. This body, this life and so much wisdom about how to care for it and appreciate being alive is what he has gifted me.
And every chance he got he would remind us that he felt like a king for all that he accomplished in his life - coming from Panama, making it as a photographer and entrepreneur, marrying my Lita, having all of the kids and grandkids and getting to see them successful and healthy, owning a home. Living the American dream essentially.
Of all the beautiful things my grandfather said and loved to repeat, “Living is an art, you must learn to live” - is probably one of my favorite and his most famous. I am so grateful that I get to be a part of the masterpiece he created out of the art he made of his life. And it gives me great comfort to know that he didn’t take a single moment of his own life for granted, a template that I highly recommend no one reading this ever forgets.
I take his commitment of joy, laughter, determination and resilience and I commit to carrying it onwards in his honor and in celebration of getting to live with his legacy in my veins.
Thank you for being here with me to celebrate the life and legacy of my (abue)Lito, Armando Pretto.
October in my Membership Program will be devoted to Alchemizing Your Herstory.
